Wednesday 10 July 2019

Coming Clean



A support group has been set up for people who are addicted to buying cleaning products but whose houses remain filthy.

Coming Clean is for those people who can't pass the household aisle in the supermarket without picking up yet another spray or cloth that promises to make your house sparkle with just a few squirts.

Celia (not her real name) is a member of the group. She said, "I am addicted to wipes. There are little squares of cleaning cloth impregnated with various kinds of fluid for just about every household task.

" I have wipes to polish tables, buff up stainless steel, clean the loo, get smears off worktops. clean shoes, polish leather upholstery, clean grouting, polish taps and clean windows. There are specific wipes for kitchens, bathrooms and bedrooms. Then there are those for the office to wipe computer screens and get crap out of the keyboard.

"You can't imagine how happy it used to make me feel to find a new variety. I remember when I discovered ceramic hob wipes, I was dancing in the aisle.

"But I realised I had a problem when I had so many packets of wipes I couldn't shut the cupboard door but my windows were still so disgusting you couldn't see through them."

Celia has been having counselling with Coming Clean and last week managed to open the stainless steel wipes and give a kettle a quick buff.

"I feel I'm making progress," she said.

Another member, let's call her Janice, said she managed to use some of her products but there were still hundreds lying unused in the closet.

"Don't get me wrong. My house isn't filthy - not like those dirty sods on the telly whose homes are so full of rubbish they can only see the top of Alexander Armstrong's head when he's on Pointless. But it's averagely clean at best.  With the number of cleaning things I have you'd think it would be sparkling.

"I wander up and down the supermarket aisles buying anything that looks like it might jump out of the can and clean the grease from the kitchen tiles without me lifting a finger. Let me tell you, no such a product exists. When you are told “one squirt and the dirt is gone”, don't believe it."

Mariella Deville, who set up Coming Clean in her house,  said, "I encourage members to bring along their cleaning products and after our meeting I urge them to actually use some of them in my home.

"My house has never been cleaner."

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