Tuesday 6 August 2019

Bingo Caller Lost His Clickety Click




A bingo caller in the North of England has been sacked for his "inappropriate" bingo lingo.

Brian Stompeller was given his marching orders by the Seven Is Heaven bingo hall after complaints from customers.

One was Doreen Mitch, 55, who said, "I couldn't believe my ears at some of the things he was saying."

She added: "I was offended at 88, which is usually referred to as two fat ladies. My friend Doris was sitting beside me and we are both rather ample. He called out 'big fat sandwich in bed 88' and winked at us, saying, 'How about it, ladies?'

 "Admittedly, some people thought it was funny but I just thought it was crude and disgusting and not suitable for a family venue.

"Doris left after the bingo night with another lady, Kathleen, who is also rather large. I didn't see  her for a couple of days and when I did, she couldn't stop smiling and she and Kathleen kept winking at each other. I didn't have a clue what was going on."

She said Favourite of Mine 69 was altered to Come Round To Mine For 69 while he licked his lips and stared at one woman's cleavage.

"As for number 66, I'd rather not say but it began, 'Clickety-click, suck my....' Need I say more?

"Thee and Me 23 became Let's Make It We Three 23 and then he shouted, 'Any offers, girls?'

"It was all so smutty but some women put their hands up and shouted, 'Me, me.' I don't know what the world is coming to," said Doreen.

It appears Seven Is Heaven is having a change of heart about Brian's sacking. Since he has left, attendance has fallen drastically and they are desperate to get him back.

But Brian said he had had several job offers and he was still "weighing up his options".

"It's not the money that's important," he said. "I need to make sure I can clickety click with the ladies and rise and shine to find several gateways to heaven to keep this man alive."

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2 comments:

  1. This post is pure smut. i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. honest to god ive known bingo callers like this

    ReplyDelete