It's bad enough being married to a Batman freak but when he wakes up in the morning and can't stop talking like the caped crusader it's enough to make you run to the Batmobile and take off in the opposite direction of Gotham City.
So spare a thought for Melinda Brassavillia whose husband Marco went to bed after watching the complete boxset of the old television series and awoke unable to stop channelling the superhero.
Marco said, "I've always been a fan of Batman but, oh my stars and garters, I never dreamt I would end up talking like him. Holy catastrophe!"
Melinda is at her wit's end. "It's been going on for weeks now and it's driving me bonkers. It was bad enough that he insisted on calling our son and daughter Bruce and Robyn but this Batman lingo is a step too far." The embarrassed teenage children have moved out to live with relatives. "I want my family back together," said Melinda.
"I can't understand what's going on," said Marco. "I went to bed as normal but when I got up, zoinks!, I was talking like Batman and couldn't stop. Great Caesar’s ghost, it's not as if I'm doing it on purpose."
Melinda said she was too ashamed to go out with her husband to which he replied, "Stand up Shame! You’re not worthy of the name Shame, you’re a sham Shame! Don’t ever cry on my tights or pull my leg again.”
"This is what it's like all the time," she sighed.
Despite his affliction Marco has returned to work as an office cleaner and was gathering some tools as he was being interviewed. "The true grimefighter always carries everything he needs in his utility belt," he said.
"He's got to stop this or I won't be responsible for my actions," said Melinda. "Last night I nearly smothered him in his sleep."
Marco's response was to tell her, "Shazam, you'd be arrested quicker than you could say 'by the hoary hosts of Hoggoth.'”.
As he left for work, Melinda muttered, "Holy buggery bollocks! I can't take much more of this."
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Cut the brakes on his batmobile, love.
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